Dealing with an ex dating a friend Essex chatrooms
If your friend dated your ex, you'd naturally feel that they were being disloyal, even if you were the one who broke it off.
Once that happens, the feelings of betrayal are hard to put aside.
This maturational process resembles what children go through as they separate from their parents and take responsibility for their lives.
Prior to healthy separation, teenagers often blame their parents for their unhappiness, feel like victims and angrily cite their parents' shortcomings (e.g., "they're too self-centered" or "they don't understand me") as causes for the problems.
All relationships include positive and negative feelings about one's partner, but when the negative relationship patterns accumulate and overwhelm positive feelings, divorce is a common outcome.
Some say that the old marriage is like a black hole with its powerful gravitational pull that sucks all into its center, including light.
And when the chemistry between you two becomes obvious, you've got a difficult choice to make. And the likely result is that your ex will cut you both out of his or her life.
You wouldn't want to get children's hopes up, and your choice can confuse friends who have accepted your accounts of the divorce that typically frame the ex-spouse in a less-then-positive light.
Metaphorically, if there is to be hope (i.e., light) for ex-spouse dating, participants must find ways to break negative relationship patterns and open up new ways of communicating.
Hopeful Story Couple's who have tried dating their ex-spouse report common challenges and kinds of behaviors that either lend encouragement or indicate a truly changed relationship is out of reach.
He was able to say that her first few points were so important that he needed time to consider and respond to them so that he could better appreciate her other important points.
She was visibly moved and felt affirmed (instead of disrespected), was receptive to his request for time to process her initial points, and was able to listen.
Fatal Flaws So it feels good to talk to someone who can reassure you that it was not just you…it was also your ex. It's not a smart thing to do if either one of you wants to stay friendly with your ex.